How to Talk to Your Older Kids About… Juneteenth and Slavery
A couple of years ago, I visited Austin, TX with some friends. We walked around the city, and I snapped this picture of the Texas African American History Memorial. The center of the memorial depicts Juneteenth. - Deb
Hi Panda Pals,
Well, it’s June here in northern Jersey, and it sure feels like summer. As the school year is winding down, and the weather is warming up, I find myself in a place of reflection.
As I mentioned in my previous blog post, How to Talk to Your Kids About Scary Events, like Last Week's Events in Atlanta,", I am on a “journey to help our children understand the world around them, and help them have the courage to fight for what is good and true in this world.” I find myself, again, in a place where I need to have the courage to be the parent I want to be for my children.
So, tomorrow is June 19th, a holiday called Juneteenth. It celebrates the ending of slavery in the United States, and in fact, was just made a new federal holiday. We at Dancing Panda decided to create a free Dancing Panda activity about Juneteenth so that all families can talk about this important day in history. We wanted to create the opportunity for families to have a discussion with their children about this holiday.
This year will be the second time I’ll be talking about Juneteenth with my two girls, Madeline and Eleanor. Last year, we focused on the traditions and celebrations of the holiday. I didn’t go into a lot of detail about why the holiday existed. I wasn’t sure how to talk about slavery with my girls. I was also nervous - and to be honest, I avoided it.
Talking to My Girls About Juneteenth
This year, Maddie is 8yrs old - and I can already tell that she is very much so aware of her world. She’s finishing up 2nd grade and will be going into 3rd grade this Fall. From my experiences at Newsela, I know that 3rd grade is when you can begin having deeper and more serious discussions with kids. And I can already see that from Maddie - from the questions she is asking, to the conversation we are having.
And so this year, my husband Mike and I have made the decision to “go there” with Maddie and tell her about the real history of Juneteenth. I want to explain to her what slavery was, how it came to an end in the United States, and why Juneteenth is an important part of that history.
Eleanor, on the other hand, is headed to Kindergarten this Fall. I know she is not ready developmentally to take on this harder and frankly, more complex conversation. Later, when she is older, I’ll have a similar more sobering conversation with her. But for now, we’ll stick to discussing the holiday and the traditions, as described in the free activity.
Why Talk About Juneteenth and Slavery With Kids?
The whole point of the conversation is that I want Madeline to know Juneteenth exists, and perhaps more importantly, the reason why the holiday exists. I want my children to learn about history - the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s important that we understand what has happened before. Mark Twain once said, “History doesn’t repeat itself, it rhymes.” I believe it’s important to learn about what’s happened before us, as a way to better understand our community and our world, and in this case, to ensure that slavery never, ever happens again.
It is 100% hard to talk about these topics with our kids. I get it. I’m afraid I’ll stumble when I talk to Maddie tomorrow about it. I will be practicing what I plan to say. And while it’ll be hard and make me feel uneasy, I do believe in my heart that it’s important for her to know about the story of Juneteenth. I want her to understand and learn about history and how it continues to influence the present. I know in the long run, this will help her become a more informed person, and global citizen.
Final Note About Race In Your Family
Finally, I want to make sure I mention - I identify as Chinese-American. My girls are bi-racial. They are half Chinese and half white. So how I am talking about Juneteenth is unique to our family. How you and your family may talk about it could be really different. But I hope that if you do decide to say something, do the free activity, or have a discussion about Juneteenth you’ll be better prepared and know what to say or how to handle it by reading this blog post.
Deciding to have this conversation is a very personal decision. You, as a parent, may choose not to talk to your children about Juneteenth, or about slavery. I get it. But perhaps you are a parent, family member, or caregiver who wants to talk to your kids about it, but don’t know how. Below, I share with you how I plan on having the conversation, in hopes that it can help you too.
And so, “Happy Juneteenth Day!” I wish you all the best for you and your loved ones.
Sincerely,
Deb
How to Talk to Your Older Kids About Juneteenth and Slavery
Introduce the topic by mentioning a reference to it. My plan is to have both my girls watch the Juneteenth video in the free Dancing Panda activity. Later, after my youngest goes to bed, I’ll bring up the topic with my oldest, Madeline.
“Hey Maddie, you know how earlier we watched that video with Ellie about Juneteenth? What did you think of it?”
Engage in an initial discussion about the video or the holiday in general. This is meant to be a warm-up on the topic. No need to immediately jump into the heavy stuff. This also can help you gauge how much your child really understands the video. If he/she/they don’t say much, I’d spend a bit more time summarizing the video and discussing the different pieces of it.
“I really liked the part at the end, where they showed how people celebrate the holiday. What part of the video did you like?”
After you’ve talked about the video for a couple of minutes, ask about a specific part of the video. In this case, refer to the part of the video that mentions slavery.
“So hey, did you notice that at one point during the video, they talked about slavery? Do you know what slavery is?”
Be prepared to explain what slavery, and use plain language that kids can understand. I’m assuming Maddie won’t know what slavery is or won’t really be able to articulate it. You can use and modify the language mentioned in the “Need some help doing this activity?” section of the free activity. I plan to say something like this:
“Slavery is something that happened a long time ago here in the United States. Slavery is is when someone “owns” another person. Here in the United States, many years ago, many black people were slaves for wealthy white people. When someone is a slave, they are forced to work with no pay, often treated badly, and had no control over their lives - meaning they had to follow all the rules that their ‘owner’ created.”
Your child may not “get it” and may ask questions or you may need to explain more about what it means to be a slave. I don’t think it’s necessary to go into specific details. But I find it helpful to explain it in a way they’d get and relate to.
“Yeah, Maddie, that means the black people worked on farms and were forced to wake up really early and work in the hot sun in the fields all day long, with no breaks. And they were not treated well.”
Explain what you think about slavery and how it makes you feel.
“When I hear things like this, it makes me really sad and angry. It seems really unfair. No one should ever be treated like that.”
Then move onto explaining how slavery ended in the United States. Again use plain language that kids can understand.
“And back then, when slavery existed in the United States, many people believed that it should not be allowed. There was even a war in the United States, called the Civil War, about this. Eventually, the North won the war, and slavery was abolished, or ended.”
Make the connection back to the video. We are helping our kids make connections and better understand the world around them.
“So remember in the video? What do you remember they said about slavery ending? What does that have to do with the holiday Juneteenth?”
You may need to explain how slavery is connected to Juneteenth. You can either do this by asking questions or having a discussion and supporting them with making the connection. You may need to explain the connection.
“That’s right, Maddie. Juneteenth celebrates when all black people here in the United States were freed from being slaves.”
Finally, explain why you are telling them. The why is important - otherwise it just seems like you’re having some random history lesson.
“I wanted to tell you about it because Juneteenth is an important holiday and part of American history. Unfortunately, the reason why it exists is a sad one, but I think it’s important for you to know. And also, it was just made into a new federal holiday. So going forward, you’ll get a day off from school for the holiday!”
End with a hug or sign of reassurance. It’s important for kids to know they are loved and cared for, especially after a challenging conversation.
I would love to hear from others here too. Do you plan to or did you speak with your children about Juneteenth? What resources have you found to support you? Have other tips? Have more questions? Comment below or email me at Hello@DancingPandaPal.com.
Additional Resources for Parents and Families:
This time around, I did some research on how to talk about Juneteenth with Madeline. Here are some of the best resources that I found that may be helpful for you and your family:
This article,”How To Talk to Children about Juneteenth” was my favorite and most helpful article on the topic. I particularly like the suggested phrasing on how to talk about slavery, which we quote in the free activity. This is one of the few articles that gives specific advice on how to speak about Juneteenth depending on the race and ethnicity of your family.
This article, called “Juneteenth and How to Talk to Your Child About Race” includes more information about Juneteenth and a bunch of tips for talking to your child about race.
Here's another down-to-earth resource for parents on how to start talking to your children about race and the complicated issues surrounding race in the United States, It’s called, “How Should We Talk with Children About Slavery?”
Here are two more general articles about the holiday:
Copyright © 2021 Dancing Panda, LLC. All rights reserved.
